^dont like the one a few posts up. the 1st 1 on this post is tight though letter wise, not diggin the colors tho

 

hey guys. i'm working on a memorial piece for a bloke my friends all knew. it's gonna be a simple piece and me and my mate will be painting it, need some crits for improving.

View attachment 603366

 

just get all the bars to be the same width, maybe flare the bottoms of the j and c, the legs or top of the a, and some bars on the k, I'm not sure you're ready to be messing with bar flares yet tho, so id say just fix your bars' widths
and get all your shadows right. you got some mistakes here and there.
I hope you got decent can control to pull some clean lines off.
you dont need 2 dudes to paint this... oh and no need for a heart, yeah ?

 

yeah i understand. i'll stop the line flares and take off the heart, i only did it because another of my mates did a piece for jack with hearts. and, how do i "flare the bottoms of the j and c, the legs or top of the a, and some bars on the k"? thanks

 

@kawt- I like how simple it is. Truthfully, I think the heart is fine, especially considering the circumstances. Just my opinion, though.

Scaling of each letter is off. I have to make the "W" bigger and level out the whole thing in general.
Just an idea. Not sure if it's simple enough or what.

 

@mindtrix350 thanks, i might keep it, i dunno. but for your piece i think i get ya drift with the small and large bars, pretty fresh. but the proportion kinda ruins this simple piece, work on it and please post back

 

Yeah, I'll keep working with that one.
Another idea being thrown around.

 

not sure what i can crit on that but maybe you can crit on this. i have shown the bars in this one. is it better or worse?

View attachment 603383

 

I think the "c" either thins out too much or is pushed behind the "A" too much.

 

@KAWT: Even the bars on the first one, 2nd one looks really good.
@mindtrix: love the first one, like the second one too just maybe bend the B's stem a bit back to eliminate the space between it and the L.

 

@ Jack, you should be bring the C out more from your A
@ Wilbur, those sketchs are good, but you should try to tweak up the letters abit, try out somethin' wild.

Prodding with some locals this coming saturday, need some crits on this, got lazy on the bricks.

 

Messing around with different names GLUMS, DERMS.

FLAT- isn't that the same as all you're other sketches but with more extensions? looks like it says flab because of the T

 

@fuag sweet fuag yet again the same piece eh?

@point yo finally you change your name lol splrt was a bad one bro, i like thees glums better. on first one the middle right part of the G looks off, i think you know what i mean yes?

 

i like your flicks flat, i dont have many crits cuz i'd ramble or just throw people off ya know.

but for Jack, like everyone else said the c is covered by the a a bit too much
i do that alot too...

 

CME is a crew in kamloops are you from there??

 

[Broken External Image]:http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/8453/image102.jpg
exchange for my boy jenc. freestyled it so it definitely couldve been better but whatever.

 

could i get some crits pllzz


blueojhumr by grinder13, on Flickr
humor by grinder13, on Flickr

 

@ Ozon: na that isn't a graff crew they are a group of peeps who promote parties at clubs mostly djayin and graphic design not graff related

 

northsuthr... your style is like alot of peoples up in the 604 fresh...
humr.. develop a handstyle before you piece, but your pieces do have potential
anomi same thing... work on your handstyle... keep working on your straight letters though